


Look at Me (I’m Right Here)

by Youremyalways



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drabble, Hurt/Comfort, No resurrection, Sad, Sam Dies, jess moore - Freeform, sam and dean - Freeform, this is not a happy story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:21:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24281986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youremyalways/pseuds/Youremyalways
Summary: Literally just a drabble in which Sam is dying, and Dean holds him as he goes.Peaceful, but maybe not happy ending. Depends on your definition...(This is a tearjerker, read with that in mind.)
Relationships: Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester & Dean Winchester
Comments: 7
Kudos: 61





	Look at Me (I’m Right Here)

Sam and Dean have dealt with a lot of injuries in their time. It comes with the territory.

They’ve seen everything from small slits and stab wounds to hell-hound torn flesh and bullets through the brain. They’ve sewed eachother up more times than either of them could count, and they've landed their asses in a hospital about a thousand times more often than your average citizen. 

That’s how Sam knew he was dying. 

He’s seen enough injuries to know the lethal kind. His entire abdominal cavity was ripped open. His flesh was in mere strands from the ribs down, blood pouring out of him rapidly with no cease in sight. It was a river with no dam. He swore he could see his intestines peeking out through the giant, stringy hole. All in all, he was screwed. Werewolf claws were a bitch.

Dean knew he was dying too.

Sam could tell by the crease in his brow, the way he worried his lip, and the tears that were unshed but gave his eyes a glassy appearance. For a good minute Dean tried to fix it. He ripped his shirt off, tried to press it to Sam’s gut to stop the bleeding… but it was clear to both of them that there was no healing from this. 

End of the line.

Sam could tell the exact moment Dean realized that this was the end, because every ounce of fight in his features dissipated. In a nanosecond he went from hunter extraordinaire to big brother. Shoulders sagged, eyebrows dropped, jaw unclenched. He looked utterly helpless. 

As he fell to his knees beside Sam, he swallowed around the lump in his throat and pulled his brother into his lap. Sam let himself be moved until his head was lying against Dean’s chest and his paralyzed upper body was tucked against his brother. 

“Okay, okay.” Dean whispered softly, more and more fear and grief seeping into his tone by the second. He grabbed Sam’s head with one hand and pulled him close until his cheek was pressed against his heart. Dean held Sam’s face there, keeping his palm in place on Sam’s cheek. 

Sam could literally hear Dean’s frantic heartbeat.

“It’s okay, Sammy.” Dean practically whimpered, and Sam didn’t have to look up to know his brother was starting to cry. He felt Dean’s fingers running through his hair, “I’m right here, baby brother. It’s okay.”

Sam didn’t try to speak, he just let Dean hold him and relished in the warmth of his embrace. He just wished he couldn’t feel how hard his brother was shaking. 

There was blood everywhere. Sam couldn’t stop looking at it. The red liquid coated his entire body, Dean’s hands, and the concrete below him. It was even on-

“Hey, hey.” Dean’s voice cut off his thoughts, and then there was a calloused hand under his chin tilting his head up, “Don’t look at that. Just look at me, okay? Just look at me.”

Sam nodded just barely, and he let Dean guide his gaze up. He felt his heart sink when his eyes met Dean’s. His brother looked  _ broken _ . He didn’t want to be the cause of that. He never wanted to see Dean that way at all. No, no, no… 

For the first time in his life, Sam whimpered. 

“It’s okay.” Dean whispered in return, his strained and grief-ridden tone contrasting the words he was saying, “I’m right here. Right here. I’ve got you, kiddo.”

Seconds passed by and the pain was growing less and less noticeable. As paradoxical as it sounds, that’s actually a very bad thing. It meant he was fading away. Fast.

“Hey.” Sam whispered, reaching up with a shaky hand and planting his palm gently on Dean’s jaw. He spread his fingers slowly and softly over his brother’s cheek, the tips of his middle and index finger ghosting over the wetness of Dean’s tears on his warm skin.

“Yeah, Sammy?” He asked, and his voice was barely there. Every syllable was stretched and pained, his breaths thin and hitched. Sam could tell how badly his brother wanted to look away from him- to not watch as he slipped away- but still Dean kept his eyes on Sam’s.

“I…” He choked, wincing as the speech made his throat ache and breaths sharp. He saw Dean’s brows drop in response, his lips trembling just slightly. Seeing the other in pain was always,  _ always  _ the worst possible feeling in the world. Sam grieved his own loss not for his sake, but because he knew the size of the hole it would leave in his brother. He had to comfort him. This was his last chance to leave his brother with some sense of peace. 

“I’ll be happy.” He whispered, taking solace in the feel of Dean’s warmth beneath his fingertips, “It’s okay.”

Dean choked on a breath and looked up and away for a second. He closed his eyes tightly and took a deep, shuddering breath before looking back down at Sam and asking seriously, “How could you possibly know that?” 

Sam thought about it for a moment, trying to ignore the feeling of the haze getting thicker in his brain. He and Dean didn’t really know whether they were headed upstairs or down. Maybe neither. They didn’t really think about it. Or maybe they just didn’t  _ want _ to think about it. Sam saved the world, sure, but he was also the one that made it need saving. Hell or heaven… he honestly didn’t know. 

“Because…” He started, staring up at Dean and trying to come up with a lie that was semi convincing for the sake of soothing his brother. But just as he was about to spill some crap about good intentions, he saw something over Dean’s shoulder. 

He knew then. In that moment he could _ feel it. _ He was going to be okay. He was going to be happy. 

“Because she’s here.” He breathed out in an amazed sigh, eyes glazing over with unshed tears and heart clenching in his chest. 

“Who’s here?” Dean asked, voice still strained but with a newfound curiosity. 

“She’s beautiful.” Sam sighed, leaning back into Dean’s arms.

Because, God almighty, she may as well be aetherial. Right there over Dean’s shoulder, his Jess was standing with her hands by her sides, looking at him with those loving eyes he never thought he’d see again. Her golden hair was down to her hips, satiny and twirled in perfect ringlet curls. Her eyes shined brightly and her smile was breathtaking. The dimples Sam remembered running his fingers down so clearly, and the lips he could still feel against his own if he really tried. She was wearing a long white dress- not a nightgown, not like the one she was wearing on the night… No, it was stunning. Flowy at the bottom and tight to her chest. She looked like a goddamn angel. She started coming towards him and with every inch of proximity she gained, he felt his body relax more and more. 

Suddenly the pain didn’t feel so bad anymore.

“I bet she is, Sammy.” Dean choked, holding his brother tighter to his chest. Sam could feel the tears dripping from Dean’s chin landing on his own face.

Sam vaguely recalled that he never told Dean it was Jess in front of him. But of course he didn’t have to. He knew. Dean always knew. 

Before he could think any more of it, Jess was kneeling beside him on the opposite side of Dean. Her energy was as pure as the sun, warm and invigorating. 

“Sam.” She spoke softly, and Sam nearly sobbed at the sound of her voice. He’d almost forgotten that sweet, sweet sound. She brought a small hand up to his cheek and brushed her thumb over his jaw, “It’s time, baby. After all these years, we can finally be together. I’ve been waiting for you.” 

Sam felt a shiver course through his spine. Dean was on one side, rooting him to reality, and Jess was on the other, pulling him far, far away. 

“Hey. Kiddo?” Dean’s voice broke through Sam’s head and he flicked his eyes to see his brother’s face. He focused on the tears trailing down Dean’s face and wanted so badly to soothe them away, but he couldn’t find the words. He tried to convey it in his eyes. 

“You…” Dean started to talk but he got caught on a sob almost immediately and he groaned like a wounded animal, “Oh God.” 

He took another stabilizing breath before telling Sam in the most broken voice he’d ever heard, “You can go with her. It’s okay. It’s okay, baby brother. It’s okay.”

Sam felt his heart crack. Dean just kept repeating those two words, probably for his own benefit more than Sam’s. If Sam had the energy to cry, he would be sobbing. 

“He’ll be okay, Sam. You will see him again.” Jess soothed, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Sam’s forehead.

_ How do you know, _ he wanted to ask, but words failed him. The energy was draining from him by the millisecond. Somehow, Jess heard him though. She always heard him.

“Because we found our way back to each other. You and Dean will too. No matter how long it takes.” She smiled softly, “Now, come with me, Sam. Come with me, and we’ll wait for him together. I will never leave you alone again.” 

Sam closed his eyes and felt a single tear cut its way down his cheek. He found it increasingly harder to keep his eyes open as the seconds passed.

“Sammy?” Dean asked in a broken whisper, like he was asking if he was still alive, and Sam’s eyes jolted open again as if to say  _ I’m still here. _

“I’ll see you again, brother.” He pulled Sam up and whispered into his hair. His voice was still strained as he cried, “You can rest now.” 

Sam leaned into Dean’s touch. He wanted to stay. He wanted to keep fighting. He wanted to be there for his brother. He wanted to save the day. 

But damn, he was tired.

He wanted peace. He wanted the love of his life back. He wanted to rest. He wanted to let someone else do the fighting for a change.

So, when Jess offered her hand… Sam took it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Sorry for the sadness :(
> 
> Feel free to leave feedback, but try to keep it nice please!
> 
> Xoxo


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